The Adventure of a Lifetime: Rodiath's story
by Rodiath-kun
Summary: Back in my day we didn't even have video games


- The Adventure of a Lifetime: Rodiath's story: Ohmek Clan Legends - 

Written by: Rodiath Storyboard: Rodiath Proofreader: Rodiath Ideas: Rodiath Based on: Nothing.

Copyright Rodiath ╘ 2008 May not be used without permission.

Back in my day we didn't even have video games After we were done working all day in the coal mine WE GOT A KICK TO THE GROIN AND 1 HOUR OF SLEEP It was marvellous There was no faggotry at that time the few fags that existed got thrown off cliffs now they let them run around with their "freedom of speech" They corrupt our kids and make them sodomites In rural uzbekistan in the sixties we would play with our dicks and then we would beat the shit out of the little jew kid who lived by the river There was a ganja farm nearby and we would smoke with the old dude who owned it Back in the thirties I moved to london and I quickly got big in the fisticuff leagues But in a fight with "Old Bill" I broke my neck and almost died After that I became an archeologist And while excavating some ruins in Romania we made a grave mistake and accidentally awakened a clan of vampires but me and my friends from the belmont clan cleaned up the mess Yeah, he moaned We tied him up to a tree and felt him up then we pissed on him and left him there We came back the day after and he was delirious full of ant bites smelly as fuck We untied him and kicked him in the nuts We never raped him But we did rape one of the girls in the village Some teenagers forced us to We didn't mind though She was 13

Anyway The ohmek clan eventually burned down the village and killed everyone except me some old grudge about territory Anyway, I jumped in the river passed out from the cold washed up on a beach a couple of kilometres away They didn't spare me I survived because I jumped in the river I FLED And I was found by an old martial artist who lived by the river I was down by the river playing alone The rest of the people were on the fair but I was banned from it So I heard the rucus saw people die and I jumped in the river Now, the martial artist taught me the floating elephant style and then I went after the ohmek clan I killed all of their generals With my BARE HANDS And then I went after Wolfrend the half beast who was their leader IT WAS A MAN NO WOMEN ARE MAIN CHARACTERS IN THE STORY ABOUT ME He fatally wounded me but using a spell I had learned by an ancient master who lived 200 years ago I blew the whole place up using my chi energy taking wolfrend down with me

Then I floated around in the underworld for 10 years until I was resurrected by my old egyptian friend, Kehmet A new enemy was threatening world peace But I'll tell you about that later The next story involves time travel and killing a fourth dimensional god I was saving the world You should be thankful That was just one of my youths my 13 reincarnation I was laying low after the episodes with dracula Oh, nine that was a funny episode I did get the demon who was fucking with the space time continuum eventually though

Echo gave his life to save us He will always be in my heart I've mostly used my hands or melee weapons In the london/romania time I used my hands When I was an assassin in ancient egypt I used a small blade and in the last part of the story I used time stopping powers granted to me by the gods In ancient ancient times I used a club made out of jade made by the world's best weaponscrafter In the viking age I used throwing axes and swords Hmm, what else have I used In the 1700s I used a triple barreled revolver KEHMET, NOW!! wall explodes I grabbed onto kehmet's arm and flied away I'LL GET YOU, HUBBARD I'm still flying Me, kehmet and his huge eagle are on our way to one of his many bases scattered across europe From there we will rally our troops Also, I disposed of plus last week with my air slash His group of crazy followers will probably find a way to resurrect him but it'll take at least 2 years Because it requires huge amounts of energy What kind? Did you drop out of school or somethiing Energy is energy

Also I've been in the future as well I was saving that story for later but I can tell you some of it After world war III the world is wasteland the skies are black from ash floating in the atmosphere No, nuclear war man A new species of man has come it preys on humans the fallout was worst down in dc and a couple of children instead of dying from the mutations survived and their children survived and eventually we got a huge clan of feral mutated humans on the human side we have the freedom union the moralfags and then we have the rebels I I'm the leader of the rebels The freedom fags just sit back and search for food They're afraid to act We need to destroy the mutants all of them And the freedom faggots They don't have fighting spirit We can't have them eating our food We're like pirates Surfing over the waves of the wasteland on our hovercrafts I don't know what the situation is like in the rest of the world But I do know that there is a place that is untouched somewhere in europe a fortified fortress with an abundance of food and weaposn Maybe But traveling across the oceans is too risky And I have to take out the mutants first or they'll just follow us NO WE WILL DEFEAT THEM BECAUSE WE HAVE FIGHTING SPIRIT The story ends with a handful of the rebels making it to the fortress but it's full of corpses disease spread out and killed everyone they dig for water and find an ancient artifact placed there by aliens and as they touch it an alien fleet is alarmed the few rebels that survive get warped to their mothership they nuke the earth and the story ends

the few humans that survive get their own planet that they repopulate No And they live in peace with the nature and have a highly advanced culture They wear whatever they want to some wear togas ok, they all wear togas and Rodiath is the immortal elder that rules over the planet and sometimes he fights aliens and doesn't afraid of anything Yeah, lots of crystals But the zerg master I mean mutant master survived the massive energy blast and he's floating around in space and 12000 years later he lands on a remote planet and starts a new civilization He's full of hate and wants revenge The battle between the descendants of the rebels and the mutants will last for millions of years and the story takes on a new darker turn when the rebel homeplanet is invaded and destroyed the elder takes out some billion invaders in a huge blast where he sacrifices himself Luckily there are still humans in the galaxy a clan of humans that spend most of their time meditating under the influence of hallucinogenics moved to another planet a long time ago and were untouched by the incident fuck Their contact with the mysterious and spiritual parts of the omniverse has given them mysterious powers MYSTERIOUS POWERS I could tell you about how I killed the english king IT WAS ME AND MY VIKING PALS And kehmet, of course Kehmet is awesome and if he had heard you he would have SLIT YOUR THROAD We've already fucked several times He has AIDS and sleeps with children. But I don't care We love eachother and that's all that matters

- THE END -


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